Following is by Erma Bombeck--loved her humor and her heart.
Some day when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I will tell them:
I loved you enough to ask about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home.
I loved you enough to insist that you buy a bike, that we could afford to give you, with your own money.
I loved you enough to make you return a Milky-Way—with a bite out of it—to the drug store and to confess “I stole this.”
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that would have taken me 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust and tears in my eyes.
I loved you enough to admit I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness.
I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall and hurt.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.
I found that one of the hardest things about my children growing up was when I went from being the brightest, funnest, most beautiful woman around to being the stupidest creature God put on the earth.
The pendulum has (generally) swung back the other direction, and now my children have a more balanced and practical view of me. It's just proof that you need to hang in there. The terrible twos do turn into the terrible teens--except then they can drive. But the teens years, for all their volatility, can be an amazing journey of discovery and decision.
Maybe that's why I enjoy reading YA so much.
How about you? You've got children and/or you've been a child. How powerful have you found a mother's love to be?
My mom had this poem on the fridge, and I always understood it as a child. Probably better than I do now! It is sooooo very hard to teach the tough lessons when you just want to cuddle up and make the problems go away, but it is so very empowering for children to do things on their own and learn responsibility.
ReplyDeleteI just have the hardest time with letting them stumble and get hurt!!
Lovely post and images. :)
Alana @ writercize.blogspot.com
I'm best friends with my mum now, but it wouldn't have happened without her love and discpline.
ReplyDeleteI have 2 sons and a daughter and love them inconditionally.
ReplyDeleteMy eldest son disowned me last year so I don't get ro see my three grandchildren. I am hurt as you can imagine but were he was to phone and say he needed help I'd be there like a shot......you see I am his mother.
Yvonne.
As I have a 3-year-old and three stepkids who are teens and an 11-year-old, I get both... kisses and cuddles on one side and snarls and slammed doors on the other. The 11-year-old is on the cusp although still very sweet, I hope she won't change too dramatically! It'll be interesting to come to the day when we can all (hopefully) relate to each other on an equal level. Great post for today, Donna!
ReplyDeleteLove your post. And it's so true. Today my daughter is 15. I love her so much and can't believe how fast the years are going.
ReplyDeleteI got along great with my parents during my teen years and rarely had issues being told "No".
ReplyDeleteMiddle school was my hardest time because there weren't any kids at my school who shared my values.
Years later the one disagreement I had with my parents, and that still is completely valid--is that they have no fashion sense.
Great post on the love bond of motherhood. It truly is unique to woman. I have four kiddos and each is different; our relationships are so individual.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to have reached the point when I'm glad I let my children live - most days.
Motherhood, it's not for wimps.
I'm pleased to have seen my children grow from being my responsibility to taking responsibility for themselves. I'm glad to have them as friends now, though I had to be a (strict) parent first.
ReplyDelete(Visiting from A-Z blogging challenge)
Oh man, I know I drove my mom crazy when I was a teenager. I now truly understand how difficult it must have been for her to put up with all my nonsense. As I deal with my own children, I realize how many things my mom taught me.
ReplyDeleteI've got a fifteen year old...need I say more. :-/
ReplyDeleteOkay, I will. Actually, we get along pretty good. I tease him that he was born thirty years old. He's so serious all the time, so my biggest goal everyday is to make him crack up laughing. I'm sure he thinks I'm an idiot.
Great post on mom love. :)
My experience is a bit different. My children were 11 and 12 when I adopted them, so I'd say rather than becoming a mom, I became a parent, and we became a family. I can't compare it to the bond I might feel if I'd given birth, but I think my kids are amazing.
ReplyDeleteGreat topic Donna.
ReplyDeleteWell, from a father's perspective the Mrs. and I are getting close to becoming really stupid in the eyes of our older kiddo. With me, it is just discovering how stupid I really am--the veil will be lifted.
There is no doubt in my mind that my mother would have put herself between me and anything that would have threatened my life. I believe she would have died for me, if such a situation had ever arisen.
ReplyDeleteOkay... that part about the pendulum is so true! I love this though. I definitely understand. And that poem is great. :)
ReplyDeleteLovely post :) My mum and I get on better than ever these days, but we've had some belters of arguments in the past! It's funny seeing how similar we are as I get older (or am I just turning into her?!)
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful poem. Being a parent is hard work, but so worth it. In a way I look forward to seeing who my children will choose to become. I hope they listen to me, at least some of the time, and that they make their own choices the other part of the time. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm at that point where my child is singing the "I don't like you" song in time out corner. Is it wrong to think that's cute?
ReplyDeletePS: I'm terrified of teenagers. I don't know how the heck I'll handle that.
Yeah I may have hated the no's then but I can look back and see why.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was awesome. She just accepted me for who I was.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read that piece in a long time. It still has the power to bring tears to my eyes.
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ReplyDeleteI have two separate mother's stories. One as my son's mother. He loves me without question. We never fight. He understands that I want only the very best for him, no matter my decision. And I let him learn how difficult and wonderful life can be on his own, but I'm always right behind him to dust off his knees when he falls. And I do let him fall.
ReplyDeleteThen there's my daughter, who I did not raise. I was just a kid when I had her. And she says she understands why I gave her to her adoptive parents. And though we do know each other, it's not as mother and daughter, not the way we could be. While her adoptive father reassures me that will happen someday, I'm not so sure. Perhaps once she has a child of her own, she will understand that a mother will do anything to ensure that child has the best future possible, wherever that may be. I can only hope.
Beautiful post, Donna! (Oops, sorry about the earlier error!)
I'm making my kids read your post. Then they'll understand why I do all those things. :D
ReplyDeleteFantastic L post. My 39 year-old daughter has just entered the 'stupid' stage with her teenage daughters. She is horrified by this. I remember it well. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know I have to think about that. Good question. Sandie
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about reading YA. I'm still a kid at heart.
ReplyDeleteMargot
Love that advice!
ReplyDeleteIt's the hardest job, but the best. I'm still waiting for my manual about how to bring up baby. I require the supplement on management of mid-teens.
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