Monday, September 5, 2011

First Campaigner Challenge

It's time for the first Rach Write's Campaigner challenges. I'm not much into flash fiction, but what the heck. Rules:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)


For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
No pressure. Right?


The door swung open.

In spite of her promise to be strong, her bottom lip quivered, and her eyes stung. She blinked and clutched the handkerchief in her hand, refusing to give into weakness. The guard nodded his encouragement. She took a slow step into the room. The casket—why did everyone try to soften the truth with euphemisms?—sat central to the room, as though holding court.

It fit that his final hours above ground would be spent in this room. The only thing missing was a throne. She could still see him as he had explained what was to come. It had seemed a great joke to her then. For a moment laughter threatened to erupt from her chest; she bit it back, appalled at the disrespect.

She focused on the coffin and advanced into the room. Alone. She’d be forever alone now. She dropped her eyes, prepared for her last farewell.

Until she saw his face and rage exploded through her. What was this travesty? The form before her was not him but a mockery of the man she’d known and loved. She spun around, her jaw tight, and stalked from the room.

The door swung shut.


I invite you to check out the other entries.



5
1. 1000th. monkey

6
2. Elizabethanne
3
3. Aldrea Alien
2
4. MorningAJ
4
5. 1st Challenge
1
6. patientdreamer
4
7. Sabrina Llave
1
8. MovieStarEyes
1
9. First Challenge
7
10. Isis Rushdan

11. Album Signing

12. Random Thoughts
1
13. Write Challenge
2
14. Space Pirates
1
15. Scribbleandedit

16. First Challenge
1
17. Nikki S
1
18. Hunted
1
19. First Challenge

20. Premonition
1
21. Flash piece

22. Bennett & Elsie

23. Maeve Frazier

24. Memories
1
25. Amber West
1
26. Nadja Notariani

27. Super Happy Jen
1
28. #1 Challenge

29. Lets DO this!
1
30. tara tyler
1
31. Angela Scott

32. K. M. Walton
1
33. Peace Voyager

34. Katy Upperman
2
35. Neil Vogler

36. First Challenge

37. Michelle
1
38. First Challenge

39. Juliana Brandt

40. Christine Fonse
1
41. Melanie

42. k. liz barker

43. Bill Jones, Jr.

44. Randy Lindsay

45. Kirsten Loprest
1
46. Lovers Spat
1
47. Step, Step. . .
1
48. Alleged Author

49. 1st Challenge

50. Trouble

51. Nicole Settle

52. Marlene Dottere

53. Jenn

54. Erin Schneider

55. Sonia Lal
1
56. Challenge 1

57. Secrets!

58. Francine

59. MISH

60. Jessica Love

61. Christine Rains

39 comments:

  1. Yeah! Donna did some flash fiction! I think when people die we never see them as they where alive becasue they simply aren't there.

    So glad you joined :)

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  2. Awesome! Very well done! Great job.

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  3. Very well done. It really drew me in, and then there was the twist. Yes!

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  4. Great work, Donna! You really portrayed the funeral mind set well. It's such an odd combination of detachment, humor, and morbid disbelief. Well done! :)

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  5. I'm always amazed at the stories people come up with in 100 or 200 words. Good job! Makes me wonder what became of the man she expected to find.

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  6. And that's something none of us ever want to experience.

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  7. There's such a range of emotions in this piece!

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  8. Nicely done, Donna. I've done this too many times in the last few years. You really capture this very well.

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  9. Excellent! I love a good tragedy, and death fits right into that. :)

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  10. how dare that mortician!
    guess she'll be ok =)
    nice job!

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  11. Wow--there're so many entries already!

    This was a fun story!

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  12. What a turnabout at the end! Fantastic job with the details and mood.

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  13. Wow, that was good, I really felt for her and then to not see what she expected.

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  14. Very good, Donna! I'm sure a lot of us know that heartbreaking feeling. The last goodbye made even more shocking when you don't recognize the loved one in the coffin.

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  15. Brilliantly done. I could certainly relate to not seeing what I expected in the coffin. . .

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  16. Great job!

    Now I remember why I didn't join the crusade. The killer challenges. :D

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  17. Oh, what a lovely story. I admire flashfiction quite a bit. The reason I write novels is because I'm not skilled enough to stuff all the impact of a whole story into such a tiny word count.

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  18. Great story, and I love the picture you used!

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  19. Good job with the challenge, Donna. You painted a very clear mood.

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  20. Wow. That ending packed a punch! Awesome piece of flash fiction.

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  21. I should have known you'd take the full challenge to heart. 200 words exactly! :) Great story, very evocative. You have a gift m'lady.

    Melanie

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  22. I'm not much for flash fiction myself, but this looks like a rad little piece:) I tend to be a bit more long-winded;)

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  23. Oooo Donna! I am just dying:) to know what she saw in the casket!!!

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  24. Good story. Says a lot in a few words.

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  25. "For a moment laughter threatened to erupt from her chest; she bit it back, appalled at the disrespect." -- so real, so good.

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  26. Nice job Donna :) Very emotional and that can be hard to do well!

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  27. Wow! Powerful entry! The photo of the quote at the end really hit home for me. Emotional and well-written, Donna :)

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  28. Yes, very good... thx for the link to the other people how entered.

    Love the photo at the end.

    Thx for sharing it.

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  29. There's something odd about seeing someone you've known and loved in repose without life. They're just not the same.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  30. Wow! You did a truly wonderful job with this.

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  31. Good job doing the flash fiction. I hated doing it at first but now I think I like it, because writing a flash fiction piece makes you remove all un-necessary everything and get right down to the heart of the story.

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  32. This was so well-written. And you say you don't do flash fiction? lol

    I'd love to see where this goes.

    Would you like to check out The Rule of Three Blogfest ? It is a month-long extravaganza in the fictional town of Renaissance this October, with some great Amazon vouchers, author appearances as prizes, and of course loads of comment love and exposure for your writing.

    The "She " here could find her own story at Renaissance! :)

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  33. That ending got me thinking. Lot of anger in the way you portray her I think.

    mood
    Moody Writing
    @mooderino

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  34. "...soften the truth with euphemisms."

    GREAT phrase, Donna. I loved this piece. You took me into the character, and didn't let me go until I felt the same emotions.

    Beautiful job.

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  35. Great story and I want to enter too but I never know how to do it! I mean I actually wrote the story and now I need to figure out how to enter.

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