My oldest daughter was the first to raise the issue of how I'd shown it, and it's been sitting back there in the back of my mind like an itch I couldn't scratch. It was quite an issue of discussion when my critique group reviewed the full novel.
As I went through all the critiques and made changes, I attempted to fix it.
When I read those changes to hubby, I didn't like them.
Trying to find that balance was starting to grow from an unscratchable itch into a pebble in my shoe. The kind that's more than a minor irritation. The kind that's starting to hurt whenever you walk, that invades your dreams (nightmares).
And then my firstborn son (David) makes the same kind of observation the others have made but in a brutally honest (but hilarious) way that cuts right to the quick of the problem.
What did he notice?
I'd completely emasculated the hero / love interest.
Never once had I considered that. It certainly wasn't my intent. As I stewed (and chuckled) over his email (and our subsequent Skype chat) and thought about it in terms all the things my other critiquers had noted and suggested, I realized what I had to do.
Not mention it at all. Let the reader's imagination fill in the blanks.
Duh!
No more balancing act needed.
Does it sometimes take you a while to see the obvious? Or do you need the right pieces of the puzzle to come together before you can really see the picture?
You're not alone. You can go over a piece a hundred times and still not see something that is so obvious to others. 'You can't see the forest for the trees' so they say.
ReplyDeleteGod bless our critique partners... ;D
No matter how often I go over for spelling mistakes and punctuation there is always something not quite right,
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
The good news is, it sounds like you've solved the problem!
ReplyDeleteI am obviously in the same boat right now, but I think (crosses fingers) that I've figured it out. Hopefully, this time it will be a permanent fix.
So great you were able to identify the problem and figure out how to finally fix it! So satisfying! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteIt depends on the problem and the day for me. Sometimes I see when I've made a mistake like that right away--sometimes I need someone else to point it out. It took me three years to realize that the premise of my WIP was all wrong, and I'm still struggling to get everything to flow smoothly again. But it'll come together!
ReplyDeleteSometimes the answer comes after I've started writing or when I'm running. And then I make the changes. You'd think we'd figure it all out right away but sometimes it just doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteI've realized that I miss obvious things all the time. My mind doesn't go the same way as my writer's group and beta readers. I'm always grateful for them pointing out the obvious so I can cut it, or fix it.
ReplyDeleteThat's what critique groups and alpha readers are for! They can see the elusive things. Also, the characters start acting of their own volition and sometimes do things you hadn't planned on. My book as a finished product is very different from the outline I made when I started it. And until it's published and set in stone, tweaking is forever.
ReplyDeleteI just write and the story seems to roll right out from itself. So do the chatacters. I have a premise to start with, but I don;t fret about having everything in order before I begin. I just write write write and the story takes care of itself.
ReplyDeleteWe have a saying in my writing group. "When in doubt, leave it out." Works almost every time.
ReplyDeleteThat's why honest feedback is so important. It's just too hard to see how our words and ideas are perceived by people not sharing the real estate in our heads. You're fortunate to have a son willing to give you the brutally honest truth so you could fix it. :)
ReplyDeleteEven when it's a huge pain the behind to do the rewrite (like the one I'm dealing with now), I'm always SO happy when I have that Aha moment of what needs to change.
ReplyDeleteI love those moments when you just know what needs to happen. I'm hoping to find mine here really soon so I can finish my book. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, it takes me a while. And when someone else suggests it, I'm like, "Oh my heck, I'm so embarrassed I didn't think of that!"
ReplyDeleteTakes me a while - usually takes my critique partners saying, 'hey, this doesn't work!'
ReplyDeleteIt absolutely takes me a while to see the obvious. Thank goodness for my critique pals. I often feel like someone who stares at the woods for such a long time that I can no longer see the trees.
ReplyDeleteThat is definitely why I LOVE the blunt people!! Those are my first readers - they have no problem letting me know EXACTLY what is wrong with the story. :)
ReplyDeleteI would say if not for my CPs then I would miss the obvious entirely!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, YES. This just happened to me on my current book that's coming out next year. You'd think by this time in my career I would start seeing obvious things like that, but no. Sigh. Always need a challenge, though, right? :)
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. Sometimes I write and write and write ... trying to manipulate the reader into viewing the plot/character JUST SO ...
ReplyDeleteAnd then I realize I was better saying nothing at all.
Sometimes, a light touch is better.
I'm actually smashing at my WIP with a hammer tonight, come to think of it. Heading back now to see if I ought to delete what I just wrote ...
I've been surprised a few times when people have pointed things out, and I'm like, "Nah, that's just one opinion." But then I get another who says the same thing in a different way that totally makes me see the problem for what it is. Thank goodness for having multiple readers :)
ReplyDeleteOh! For sure! Sometimes the bleeding obvious has to be bludgeoned into me before I'll see it :)
ReplyDeleteHooray for finding the solution! Outside feedback is such a help in getting a fresh take on a problem!
ReplyDeleteThis is one reason why I'm nervous to do a guy point of view. :P
ReplyDeleteAt least you finally figured out what the problem was. Good luck with the edits.
When I wrote my feminine male character I constantly had to limbo. I realized he had to have some very masculine qualities to allow him to act feminine without seeming like a girl. Mostly I made sure he had very masculine body language and speech patterns. That way I could give him girly thoughts without any qualms.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing like a set of fresh eyes :) It's brilliant that you have so much family support!
ReplyDeleteI don’t think so… but who am I to say.
ReplyDeleteIt's rare when we see the answers ourselves and even then, it's usually because someone's suggestion pointed us in that direction. I feel sorry for those who are too timid to let others critique their work. It always makes my writing better.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes another set of eyes and another point of view. If I created something, I may not see the problems until someone else makes them very clear.
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out