When I first heard about it, it was hard to get people to spell it out, define it for me. They'd quote me Anton Chekov's "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." And that's lovely. But as a new writer--who sucks at description--getting my hands around that imagery so I could apply it to my own little scenes was like expecting me to suddenly be able to handle the women's uneven parallel bars.
Um, no.
Aware of my shortcoming, I've been diligently seeking to understand it, so I can use it. I talked about the Show, Don't Tell class taught by author/editor Annette Lyon at the 2011 Storymakers conference in my blog post here.
The R&R input has shown me some kinds of telling I hadn't recognized as such. I pulled out Annette's PowerPoint, and printed out some key slides to remind me of things--like senses. For example, she suggests that each page should have include at least one other sense besides sight.
So, last week I'm plugging away, evaluating the comments provided by the small publisher while going through my copy of The Emotion Thesaurus, published by the awesome ladies over at The Bookshelf Muse.
Smack!
It was like someone had whacked me up side the head. I connected some dots!
One of the things Annette says is to trust your audience, that when we "tell" them what to feel, we're insulting the reader's intelligence. Instead, let the reader experience it with the character.
Emotions. Duh.
Sitting in front of me was a single paragraph that identified three emotions. Three! In one paragraph. Where I told the reader how to feel.
You guys are probably sitting there and thinking, "I already knew that."
Shut up. Because I didn't.
So, I sought out a list of emotions and printed it out, adding it to those nifty slides. I've been busily evaluating each time I've used one. I ask myself if there's a way I can show it with body language. Since this project is in first person, I can show internally or externally.
I'm not necessarily good at the showing yet, but at least now I'm better armed at identifying the places that need attention. This is huge for me.
What about you? What's the hardest thing for you with the showing thing?
This was great to read and I found it most interesting.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Ah, but knowing isn't the same as doing... You can't be smug about knowing something when you don't put theory into practice - in theory, I know I should should emotion instead of telling the reader, but I still end up making the same dumb mistakes.
ReplyDeleteIt's a very tricky thing to do, especially in YA, where you are also trying to be concise. Plus first person narrators and close third person narratives don't describe the facial expressions of the main character. (My editor caught me out on that, having me remove any place in my close third person narrative where the MC's face or hair is described.) Even when you know what you're *supposed* to do, pulling it off is a tricky dance!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Showing is really hard, and even if you "know" all about how not to show doing it is another matter entirely.
ReplyDeleteThis is great Donna. I'm hoping Angela & Becca's books will help me too. I struggle with this too at times.
ReplyDeleteUm, just about everything. Emotion is something I had not thought about. I wrote a piece of flash fiction for a contest and several people commented on the emotion involved. It was there purely by accident, I promise.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it has to happen that way. You can read about something and listen to lectures about something and even see concrete examples. And you nod your head and say, "yeah, I get it," but you really don't. And then, BLAMMO, something triggers understanding. Those are fun moments, except when they're accompanied by the sort of feeling like, "How could I have been so dumb?" Forget that part of it, at least you had the moment and can move on.
ReplyDeleteCheryl Klein says in her book SECOND SIGHT that anytime she's reading and comes across the word "feel" it raises a red flag for her. Eliminate the pesky "feel" word in most instances seems like good advice.
ReplyDeleteOh when the light clicked on for me with the show don't tell thing, I seriously jumped up and down too! Finally, I understand!
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, I'll still put it in there. :)
I know this and yet I still find instances of it when I go through drafts. I think it's our nature to want to put it in there.
ReplyDeleteYeah sometimes the light just clicks on here and there and poof it works.
ReplyDeleteI love epiphanies, especially in regard to where to show and where to tell. Finding and revising all the spots where I told and didn't show is a big part of my revision process.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and a big help to me because I absolutely struggle with this. A lot. This is one of my main goals in improving my writing is to show and not tell. I love the idea of having one other sense on each page besides sight. Great idea.
ReplyDeleteDude, this is hard for all of us. Anyone who says otherwise is lying! So yes, emotions are hard. I always THINK I'm showing it when I'm really telling it. Like "Sharp fear squeezed my stomach." That's telling, even though I'm trying to show you...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm a WIP.
I've had this problem as well. People will read my MS and say, "you're doing a lot of telling here." and I'm like "how so? Give me an example" so when you talked about showing the emotions rather than stating, I kind of get it. thanks for the tip!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a hard thing to get right, so don't feel bad. I wrote a freaking book about it, and I'm still learning, lol.
ReplyDeleteSo happy we helped contribute in a small way to your epiphany! This has happened to me so many times--I am told something and told it and then suddenly I see something or read something and it all falls into place and I finally GET IT! :)
It's not surprising you made that mistake. Read any novel and you'll find the author will tell the emotion. Not all the time, but enough for you to subconsciously think it's okay. At least that's what I tell myself. lol
ReplyDeleteI have issues expressing complicated ideas through showing. Maybe I just need to spend some time expanding my vocabulary or something.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to buy the Emotion Thesaurus because I don't want my characters' emotional responses to be cliche. It's annoying to read a book where the heroine is a cry baby. "Tears welled up in her eyes, etc." On almost every page--I kid you not. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know if I keep reading such good posts as this, I might actually try and write something. This is the fourth blog tonight with really good info. Thanks Donna!
ReplyDeleteI echo Shannon on the word "feel." I used to not notice that word, but when I did I realized that's when I need to show emotion, rather than use that easy "feel" word.
ReplyDeleteI love having epiphanies. I've had many during this journey, and I know I'll have more.
Such good information and a good reminder. I am just like you, so new to it all and making the same mistakes. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI have problems with repeating myself--I have characters who frown a lot, or clench their fists. I think I'm going to buy that emotion thesaurus!
ReplyDeleteThis is another thing keeping me from being "translated" author-wise. I just think I've got the POV thing licked and, WHAM! Now you have to not tell them...rofl I think I am God's W.I.P.
ReplyDeleteAmidst that whine about more to learn, I wanted to tell you that I HAVE learned something...:o) Thank you, Donna.
ReplyDeleteUgh! Show/Tell is my nemesis. My last round of revisions on my first book had to deal ALL with making sure I showed in my MS. It was so hard to do but now I feel like I know what I'm doing. Granted I still have to sit there for a while to make sure I can write out in words emotions of actions that someone is doing is not being told. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteIt's a learning process. And I know I'll still be learning how to do it better.
:D
This is a great epiphany! For me the hardest part about show not tell with emotions is not showing the same thing every time. Example every time the character (or all the characters) are angry the ball their fists. It's hard to think of ways that show they are angry sometimes when my creative juices are low.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
What's the hardest thing for me with the showing thing?
ReplyDeleteThe showing thing. Ha!
I struggle with showing vs. telling as well. But I'm getting better!
Thanks for sharing your epiphany!
Oh, and I'm buying that thesaurus now! Thanks for the link!
It's coming along--but it's not usually in my original draft. I still have to add it in later. Hopefully someday it will be automatic.
ReplyDeleteSome days I'm great with description. It's like my whole soul sees everything differently, but other times, my soul isn't cooking and it is just a red chair.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things on my critique to do list is to look for the words saw, heard and felt and zap them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your epiphany. It was very insightful.
Great post & great comments! This is such a major breakthrough--I remember very well when I learned this, reading author Kaye Dacus's blog. Another great resource for me in writng emotions was Margie Lawson's class Empowering Character Emotions. I also like articles on emotion by Alicia Rasley, "Emotion is Physical" and "Emotion without Sentiment."
ReplyDeleteIt's still a struggle sometimes--and I've found in my latest MS, first person (present tense, if that makes a diff) that emotion in first person can *occasionally* be told, because it *is* like having a conversation (depending on the voice).
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Donna. I struggle with the whole show vs tell thing. I think all writers do. The most important thing is to not worry too much about the telling part when you're drafting. You can always go back and revise later.
ReplyDeleteThe show, don't tell issue is one that I struggle with all the time. I'm redoing my first chapter and instead of having my MC just tell the audience what's going on (3rd person, closed POV), it occurred to me the other day that I could have a conversation between the MC and his mom to fill in some of that information.
ReplyDeleteThat was it. That was my epiphany: a conversation. It was so easy and yet, took me almost a year to figure it out.
Good for you. Those epiphanies are hard won! I've had some of the same issues and sometimes it just takes that one aha moment. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post...
ReplyDeleteI find it's hard to keep "showing" crisp and clear, i tend to over do it.
Since most of my old writing was poetry and then I went into copy-writing I had to "show" everything or no one would buy it. I do have trouble with thoughts though and I get tired of saying, she thought or he thought. This is where I don't know if I should just leave it out or if I've described it enough.
ReplyDeleteahh, that's what is the beauty of Angela & Becca's book! I'm getting better at smells, but the touch and feeling is still coming. It's all practice. Crafting that perfect image without going too far. Great post, Donna! :o) <3
ReplyDeleteSuch a struggle for all of us. But I love those aha moments in writing. Too bad they don't all stick in my head each time I sit to write. Great post, Donna. I also wrote about a different kind of "show, don't tell" today on my blog if you want to check it out. Great to see you at Storymakers!
ReplyDeleteFor me, it might be figuring out WHAT to show for the story I want to tell. Figuring out what to tell is usually easier for me... but there's so much you could show in even the simplest story - some of it is great and some of it would just bog down. But I'm getting better at working out what would matter to the reader.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking for some ninja writers to interview for my Ninja spotlight series. If you're interested, go to http://kelworthfiles.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/im-looking-for-a-few-good-ninjas/ to find out more!