Grammar Wednesday and Deana Barnhart's News

That vs Which

I've always been a fan of the word that. Some of it comes from doing city council minutes for years where we don't do dialogue even though that's really what we're taking down. Using that in this case takes the place of your quotation marks.

However, it's easy to go a little crazy with it when you're a writer. You can check out my findings in this post from last year here--and how many times I deleted that.

An option might be using which instead.

Believe it or not, there's a difference.

From the Gregg Reference Manual (aka Grammar Bible), p. 336, item 1062b [I added the pink and blue for effect]:

Which and that are used when referring to places, objects, and animals. Which is always used to introduce nonessential clauses, and that is ordinarily used to introduce essential clauses.

So what does that mean?

If the clause (something I would call an aside comment--kinda like this one) can be removed without changing the meaning of the sentence, it's nonessential. So use which.

The building that is painted brown is for sale.

The building, which is painted brown, is for sale.

In the first case, you're restricting it to only that brown building. In the second case, the 'which is painted brown' is merely additional information about the building.

Since that is (usually) essential, you don't use a comma.

Happy News!

If you haven't heard yet, the awesome Deana Barnhart has an agent! And wait until you find out the process that led to this great event. You can check it out at Deana's blog here.



This Saturday I'm going to the Got Stories conference put on by Rhemalda Publishing. I know a couple of authors who will be presenting there. Should be fun.

What are you up to?

Gearin' Up to Get An Agent - Week 4

I know. I'm a serious slacker loser. I totally did not participate in last week's part. I was supposed to submit my query here for consideration.

See, queries and I have a magnet thing going. No, not the part where we are attracted to each other. The part where when you put the opposite ends together (or try to) they push each other away.

Every time I think about trying to write a query, my brain twitches. It reminds me of Maynard G. Krebs's response to the word "work" from the old Dobbie Gillis show (go about 3/4s of the way thru this short video to see Maynard's reponse:




But I really haven't given up on the contest. I may, yet, squeeze a query out of my brain, so I'll jump in and do Part 4. This is the final week of the Gearin' Up to Get an Agent blogfest, which is hosted by Deana Barnhart.

Our challenge this week is to perfect our first pages. We're to post them on our blogs and then flit around to other participants giving feedback and advice. Have you ever imagined what a critique fairy would look like?

Critique Fairy

And then, we're supposed to email our official entries to Deana by Tuesday at 3 p.m. EDT. They will be judged by a preliminary team and then by Agent Kathleen Rushall of the Marsal Lyon Literary Agency and by writer Monica B.W.

Okay, now that I've typed that, I'm having second thoughts about doing this. Ugh.

*bites the bullet*

We're not really sure about the genre for my WIP. It was suggested that it could be romantic suspense, but I've been told there's probably not enough suspense to qualify for that, but it's probably not a strict romance either, so it might be women's lit.

This project has been like that all the way through. It took me a year to come up with a title. I hope it doesn't take me a year to come up with a genre.

Anyway. Here's the first part of my ms. Go ahead. Rip it to shreds.

When Elle and I planned our dream cruise, pirates never entered into it, and they were the farthest thing from our minds as we stood before the check-in clerk at the wharf in Seattle. Holding my boarding papers I stood mesmerized by the site of the ship and felt a shiver of anticipation.

Elle nudged me as she accepted her ship card and paperwork from the clerk. “Don’t look but a guy over there’s been watching you.”

I started to turn my head, but she stepped on my foot. “Lyn, I said don’t look!”

“Sure he’s not been watching you?” I tried not to peek, curious in spite of myself.

“I know when guys are watching me.” She didn’t sound smug because it was the truth. After twenty years I should have known better than to ask.

We turned from the sign-in station to walk to the gangway. The man and his group had just finished at the station adjacent to ours, and we ended up next to him for a moment as we made our way to a new line.

He was tall. Really tall. At nearly six feet myself, I paid attention when guys were taller than me.

Elle gave him a sideways glance, and I casually turned my face in his general direction. He was looking at me. When our eyes met, he dropped his gaze and said something to a little girl whose hand he held. He and his group stepped ahead of us.

Elle smiled as we got in line behind them. “He’s cute,” she whispered.

“Looks like he has a daughter,” I noted, trying to discourage her.

Elle shook her head, keeping her voice low. “I overheard them. The little girl belongs to the couple he’s with. She called him uncle.”

Almost of their own volition, my eyes turned in his direction again, and I forced myself to turn away. Elle had hinted her goals for the cruise included getting me on a date again. My plan included reading a lot of books.

Watching Creation

It's Week 2 of "Gearin' Up to Get an Agent Blogfest" hosted by Deana Barnhart. And today, some will have a chance to watch creation as it happens, while others will be able to participate in it.

I get to help be a creator.

Today, there's going to be a blogfest story chain. Participants have been given a specific time to post, along with a topic and three key words we have to include in our portion of the creation.

So I can't even think ahead to figure out what I'm supposed to write as I haven't even met the characters yet or know their circumstances.

My time is 2 p.m. EDT, and I get the middle of the story. Where I help the mc "gain all the knowledge she needs to take her through the rest of the story." My words are: get, safe, muddle

Now I have stress! *shudders*


You can find the scene before mine at Amy Kennedy's blog.

Dio took a deep breath and gasped at the smell. She covered her mouth, staggering back from the cave's entrance. The thought entered her mind again, stronger. "If you had the book, you could right the wrongs...maybe even your father's death." She sensed the emphasis on the word death, almost like a mental nudge, and Dio knew what she had to do. 

Get the book. 

She groaned. That nasty, stinky, purple book. 

Comfort flowed through her entire body, almost as though her father stood behind her, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. Dio smiled. She could be safe. She could fix this muddle. She would find her parents and stop these psycho people. 

But how ...  Dio grinned. A gleefully wicked grin. She turned toward the cave and did a little curtsey. "Thanks, your Larva ... greatness."

Spinning, she faced the lights in the distance. The city lights where she lived. Where the book was. Squeezing her eyes tightly and tapping her sandled ankles together three times, she imagined her father's study, visualized that dratted book. That wonderful, answer-giving book.

Her body shook, jerking like she'd been struck by lightning. Her breath ripped from her lungs as her body launched into the sky. Toward the lights. Toward home. Toward help.

She was flying!



You can see the next installment at Lindy Legends ....